For what it’s worth: it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again. -F. Scott Fitzgerald
I want to start again. And this time, it isn’t about those stupid relationships (non-relationships?) I had with those men two to four years ago.
I guess I wanted to live for myself for a change, after pouring my heart and soul (however cliche that sounded haha) for someone who didn’t do the same for me.
I wanted to love myself for a change.
Perhaps I went too far, and now, I’m having trouble dealing with people who are, in a way, just like me. People who are also looking for someone to accept who they are as they are (cheesy cliche shit again) and not who they might become.
I have trouble dealing with people who cannot, at this particular moment, give me the emotional and physical presence I need.
I cannot deal with people who go against me right now. It’s so fucking selfish, I know. And I can’t stand that about me, but I can’t help it.
I don’t know, I guess I’m so afraid of getting hurt and rejected and whatnot again so I just walk away as soon as I see signs of…that. I run like hell in the opposite direction, as far and as fast as I can.
Fuck, I don’t know what to do with myself.
